Letters from a Lost Soul
by where the wind blows
Summary: Every year Susan writes three letters to the three people she misses most, and three people write a letter to Susan… Sibling love, non-slash
1. Three Letters

**Disclaimer: Own nothing **

**Forgive me any grammatical errors. Like that one... **

**Summary: Every year Susan writes three letters to the three people she misses most, and three people write a letter to Susan… Sibling bonding, non-slash. **

**Letters from a lost Soul**

_I remember that day more clearly than the rest, I think we all did. It was just so real… more than anything other… _

Susan Liyal's neat handwriting flowed across the thick paper as if she was writing for the Lord himself.

She wasn't, she was merely writing for the 13th anniversary. To many people this date meant nothing. But to Susan it meant everything.

Every year on this exact date at around noon Susan would walk down to the grave yard, she would then read the letters aloud to the person before placing the letter on the grave and walk away.

Her husband said it was not healthy. Patrick Liyal said she that doing this just made her cry and he hated to see her sad. Her response was simple. If she cried on this day she would be able to handle the rest of the year.

Her children knew about their aunts and uncles who had been killed in 'that awful incident', but they did not know that their mother would go and cry her eyes out once every year over them.

Her friends did not understand. Susan had always talked about how much her sibling annoyed her and how she could not stand to be around them. They had understood tears the first couple years, but at this point in a person's life most people would miss them fondly, not with heart wrenching grief like Susan.

I would tell you what her relatives thought of this odd custom of Susan's however the only relatives she had where distant and hardly associated with Susan.

Susan herself would never explain what she would write in these letters. All she would say was that 'you would not understand, you could never understand'. Patrick accepted this, the children did not know, and her friends thought she was crazy.

So when Susan placed on her black hat and walked down the stairs with a bundle of letters clutched in her hand her husband kissed her cheek and let her pass without comment.

The cemetery was something Susan had never liked, it was bland and dark. It was rare even to see a bird nesting in the trees that surrounded the place. Susan's feet made no sound on the wet grass, and the flowers gave off no sent.

When she reached the graves she stood for a moment and let the cool wind rustle through her dark hair.

There were nine graves in total, seven for the incident she came for today, and the other two (her parents) for another tragic moment in Susan's stained past.

The seven stones could not have been duller. Date of birth and date of death was proceeded by a name all in the same bland handwriting.

Though there were seven graves she only ever wrote three letters. She felt it was not fair to write more than that, for then she would be writing things she would not be sure about, and for Susan that was too hard.

She tried not to look at the graves as she pulled out the first letter (at random) but she could feel their presence pulling her forward.

She looked down at the letter her handwriting was easy to read.

_Lucy _

Susan tore her eyes from the letter for a moment, she closed her eyes and pretend she was somewhere far away…

Then she opened the thick paper, her hands trembling as if she did not know what the letter contained.

_To my dearest Litter Sister, _

Susan took a deep shuddering breathe and looked around the graveyard. As far as she could tell no one was around. She turned back to the letter eyes stinging and began to read. Before she started she sunk to the ground sitting in a most un-lady like manner on the grassy bank of the cemetery.

_In my last letter I told you that I missed you, like I have every year. This year again I must tell you that I miss you more than anything in the entire world (and not just this one). _

_I have a story for you Lucy. Thomas (you remember me talking about my son right?) told me that they were kind creatures and that he wanted one as a pet. I could not help but think of you Lucy. What would you have said to your little nephew if he told you he wanted a pet Lion? _

Susan smiled through the tears that had clouded her eyes.

_Oh Lucy if only you could have been there to tell him that Lions where not pets. I could not; I was too caught up in trying to think of what you would have said to him. _

There where smudges on this part of the parchment where Susan's tears had fallen.

_I guess you expect me to tell you about all the wondrous and terrible things that have been happening in my life so you can know what has been happing. But this time I do not want to. This time to want to remember. _

_I have been trying to remember lately. I mean more that any person should. I want to remember every detail Lucy. I want to remember what everything smelled like, and the taste on my tongue._

_Do you understand Lucy? _

_I remember the banquets and the feasts and the battles. But I want to remember more. _

_Like Remember those flowers we got from Germighte? They were five colors, red, pink, purple, yellow, and orange. Each flowers had eight petals and the stems where two shades of green. I remember all that. But I can't remember what they smelt like. I remember that we loved it. Edmund thought it was so 'girly' and Peter sneezed when he went near them. But I don't remember what they smelt like… _

_It's not that big a deal… but I wish I could remember. And that's only one example. _

_I can't remember what color of the curtains in my room either. They where blue right? But sometimes I think they where green… I guess it does not matter. Who really cares, As long as I remember the important things. But I can't help thinking that because I am forgetting these little things that I may be forgetting the biggest thing of all… But if there is something I am forgetting I don't think there is any hope of me remembering at this point. So I guess I am not forgetting anything… _

_I miss you Lucy… _

_I wish you could have been here. _

_Maybe then I could remember… _

_Love from your sister _

_Susan _

By this point Susan's had tears cascading down her face. If she had been wearing makeup the black marks would be making her look as if she had been punched. However Susan had not worn makeup (dark makeup that is) in 10 years.

The letter was not much; in fact it made little sense when you thought about it. But that did not matter, Susan had written it for her sister and that is all the really mattered.

Susan folded the letter back up and placed it to her right on the soft grass.

She waited a moment, letting wind kiss her face then she pulled out another letter.

_Edmund _

Susan's hand shook as she pulled this letter out. After all Edmunds letter was always the hardest to write. Not that she loved him more or less than her other siblings. But the last words she had said to him where out of spite.

_My little brother, _

_I know what you would say if you saw this letter. You would just wave it off and say "Susan it is not big deal. I know you did not mean it." But I still mean every word I say Ed. _

_I'm sorry. _

_I know that on that last day when you called to ask me if I was going to come that you really wanted me there. I let you down. I told you that I never wanted to talk about that place again. _

_Looking back at that I realize how stupid I was. I would do anything to go back to the moment and ask you to wait for me to come. _

_I can see you shaking your head at me and telling me that I am being stupid and I need to stop asking for your forgiveness because you never held it against me. _

_But really Edmund you are the last person who should be lecturing people on letting something go. _

_Still Edmund, I am sorry. _

_You would not believe what happened last week Edmund. Someone came to the door, which looked exactly like our favorite Calomen prince. _

_In fact I even said "Rabadash what are you doing in London!" Before I realized that it was just the neighbor's nephew coming to talk to Patrick. _

Susan smiled through her tears at the memory. For a moment she had actually thought she was back in Narnia when the Price was visiting.

_He also sounded just like that terrible price the way he asked Patrick for a loan. You remember Patrick runs a back right? I believe I said that awhile ago… anyway Patrick didn't give him a loan; good thing too he was a terrible man. _

_I wish you had been there Edmund, you would have said some awful things to him just because he reminded you of someone who had hurt me. That's alright though. _

_Anyway Edmund I love you and I want you to always know that I never meant what I said and if I would I would take it all back. _

_With all the love, _

_Susan _

Susan was smiling for she could picture Edmunds expression as though he was right in front of her, he was smiling, but shaking his head making it known that she had no reason to apologize.

Susan, still with a sad smile on her face, picked up the next letter

_Peter _

Susan unfolded the letter while the tears started to come harder, this was her older brother, the one who had always protected her, the one who she had yelled at...

_To my ever loving brother, _

_Remember that argument we had when we were on the way to America? When I first mentioned that Narnia was a funny memory? At the time I didn't mean it, I was only saying I had forgotten because there where people around and you where talking about something that to me was embracing. A game we played as children. _

_I still wonder what made me do that. When he got back from America I still believed, I believed every word of Lucy and Edmunds story. _

_I thought it was easier to not believe though. _

_I believed it though. I sincerely did. I believed I was doing the right thing in trying to forget, and I don't understand how I could have tried to make you understand that. _

_I was wrong Peter, I know that now. In fact I knew that on The Day._

It had been after Susan had hung up the phone with Edmund that she had felt and odd tugging at the back of her heart. At the time she had ignored it, however at ten to four, when the train would be arriving Susan heart had been in so much pain that she had run out of the house intending on getting a taxi to take to the station… but she had stopped halfway there. For her heart had suddenly broken…

It had been five hours later that the police had come and confirmed what she already knew in her heart.

_To this day Peter I have no idea how I knew you were gone. I guess it does not really matter how I knew, but the fact I did. There was a family down the street who lost their seven year old daughter to a car incident, when I heard I went to see them and give my condolences. They were in tears throughout the whole conversation as I told them about how I had lost my whole family in one day. I cried with them. _

Susan was crying harder now, her voice shaking as she read the words off the paper.

_I love you Peter, and I always will, I will never forget you. And I will always believe. _

_Forever, _

_Susan _

This letter had been the shortest. Mostly because she had been crying so hard when she wrote it that she could not stop her hand from shaking.

Susan took a deep shuttering breath. Then she stood, the letters still clutched in her hand.

The cemetery looked much the same as it had when she had first arrived, grey/green grass, silent, and sad.

She then took each letter and placed it on the proper grave.

For a moment she looked at the letters resting on the soft ground.

Susan turned and walked through the dim gates of the graveyard. She didn't look back. Once outside she took out the cloth inside her pocket and wiped her eyes, then standing tall Susan made her way back into the dismal streets of London.

Behind her the wind changed, blowing towards the east. The letters for a moment flapped on the ground.

The first letter started to flap across the ground before drifting up into the wind. The second was tossed up before is hit the third letter which had skidded around the stone for a moment. Then all three letters rose high into the air drifting off into the east.

A small girl holding her mother's hand looked up at the sky and saw three papers drifting across the sky.

"Mama, mama look!" she said pulling on the adults hand and pointed to the sky. "What are those?"

The mother looked at the papers floating in the wind. "I don't know sweetie, someone must have lost them."

"Will they miss them?" The little girl asked looking at the papers at they disappeared into the blue sky.

"Oh I am sure they will, however they will move on, maybe the papers will even be returned to them one day." She answered smiling at her small child.

"I hope so." The daughter said sincerely "losing something is always hard."

The mother laughed at her daughters words as the two walked home.

The letters meanwhile had started to go faster, twisting and turning in their own personal gale. They flew over the city, over fields, over forests, over woods, and finally over the sea…

"Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see."~C.S. Lewis Quotes

tbc…

**So this was going to a one shot, however I am going to add one more chapter that will be short, but I think you will like it! **

**PLEASE REVIEW! **


	2. One Reply

**Not a lot of Reviews, thank you to ****ChroniclesofNarniaGoTandSJA**** this is for you! **

**Disclaimer: Nope sorry… **

**Chapter Two: One Reply **

Susan reached home and walked up the steps. She felt drained as if she would never smile again. Entering her house she saw a note on the table.

_Took the Thomas out to lunch, be back soon. Love, Patrick._

Susan smiled before she walked up the seven stairs to her small room.

As she entered she stopped. Something was different about the room. Frowning she walked around the square space. As she passed she small writing desk she saw a piece of think paper laying on the oak surface.

Her eyebrows knitted together Susan reached for the paper. As she did so the sweetest smell imaginable brushed around her face.

In crisp neat handwriting on the front of the folded paper was her name

_Susan _

Her heart started to beat faster as she read this. She _knew _that neat scrawl.

With hands shaking so hard she was afraid she was going to drop the letter Susan unfolded it.

_Our most wonderful sister Queen Susan, _

Susan thought her heart was going to stop as she read those words in fact she sank to the floor shaking.

_I wanted to let you know… _

_WE wanted to let you know actually _

Again Susan thought she was going to have a heart attack right there on the floor,

_Fine then we wanted to let you know that this is really unnecessary. _

_**Not that it is unappreciated **_

Another jolt wracked Susan body.

_Oh no, in fact we love getting them, but that is not the point, we are writing this to you with the permission of Aslan mostly because we think it is unhealthy. _

_Really Susan we know that you miss us but we never left you. _

_**And it's not like we will ever forget you so don't worry about that, in fact I am sure we will see you one day again. **_

Susan didn't even have the energy to cry as she read the letter she was still too deep in shock so she kept reading her mind whirling with each word.

_Lucy and Edmund seem to have taken over the paper now… _

_This was my idea Su so don't even listen to him! _

_**Well it was more my idea… **_

_It was not your idea Edmund what are you talking about? _

_I have taken the paper back now because the two of them seem to think that need to write down every word they are saying._

Susan choked. When she had first gone to boarding school Lucy and Edmund would send her and Peter letters that where more like the conversations they were having then real letters.

_They are arguing now, so I guess I'll start Susan. I remember the argument you wrote about well, but I don't think it was so much an argument as a slight disagreement. We have had much bigger fights as you know. _

Susan snorted, it was more than a disagreement Susan had slammed the door in Peters face and had broken a lamp.

_I guess I am about to start another disagreement between us because I am going to disagree with you. I don't think you ever really stopped believing Susan. I think you just forgot, I think you just didn't understand, that's alright though we all forget sometimes. _

Susan let out a sad laugh.

_And when you say you knew we had gone? If it had been you Susan we would have known you had gone as well. It's a simple thing really Susan you just never really understood how much we loved you, even when you did start to walk away. _

It was then that Susan really started to let the tears fall.

_Well Lucy wants to write now so I guess… _

_Susan! I miss you so much! _

Susan smiled through her tears letting out another laugh; it was amazing how even in Lucy's handwriting you just knew what her voice sounded like.

_And you let Thomas know that having a pet lion is not a good idea. They are not tame animals after all! Your right though I wish I could have been there when he said that, I am sure it was very cute. Oh and Susan don't try to think of what I would say. I am sure you said the right thing! _

There she was, ever confidant Lucy.

_Susan I miss you so much! And I do hope you are having a good time where you are. Don't worry about us; we are having a wonderful time. I can't tell you to much though, in fact I am not suppose to tell you anything at all, but I want to let you know that we are alright and please don't worry. _

_Edmund is begging me for the pen, something about Rabadash… _

The smile on Susan's face grew at these words

_I had forgotten about those flowers Su! I guess you are not forgetful as you think, I remember that you said they smelt like peace. _

Susan bit her lip Lucy was right! She had said they smelt like peace…

_And your curtain? Don't you remember Susan? You could never decide on a color, you where always changing them! Sometimes you had the blue ones up, and then the next day you have the green ones up! Edmund always said you where crazy! _

_Susan I love you and miss you! _

Susan let the tears that had clumped in the side of her eyes, fall. It felt good to cry for once; for she was not crying with grief, but with joy. Her sister loved and missed her!

_**Really Susan you have nothing to apologize for. **_

Susan smiled her tears of joy still falling.

_**I never held it against you, you know that! I was sad that you snapped at me but I took it in stride, I can't say I understood you, but I was willing to understand that you were going through a hard time. I am glad you are finally better Su… **_

'I am glad to Ed' Susan thought wiping a tear away.

_**Also I hope you punch that kid that looked like Rabadash right in the face. Honestly my blood still boils when I think of that slime. **_

Susan laughed; it was exactly the reaction she had expected from her younger brother. If he is awful just punch him. In court Edmund might be Just, but when it came to 'slime' that threatened his sister well…

_**But it does not matter anymore and I hope Patrick had a good reason not to give him that loan. Who knows he might not have been that bad…**_

_**Peter just smacked me, he said of course he is that bad otherwise Susan would not have told you. So I take back what I said before. Just punch him. **_

If anyone had walked in on Susan at this moment they would have seen a laughing young woman who was clutching a letter for dear life as she wiped tears away.

_**Susan I love you so, and I hope that you are happy with your husband and son, I am sure you're a great mother Su, I know you always wanted kids. And I know for experience you are a great mother. Just don't coddle him too much, it will make him squeamish. **_

At this Susan remembered all the times when she had coddled her poor little brother. She frowned 'well Ed if I hadn't coddled you Peter would have and he was worse sometimes' But all the same Susan was happy, She knew what her brother meant.

_**We love you Susan and can't wait to see you again. **_

_** Much Love, **_

___Peter _

_Lucy_

_** Edmund**_

_P.S. Susan we love your letter, but always know that we love you and please make sure that you are happy when you write them. __We do so hate seeing you sad. __**Never forget Susan we **__**ALWAYS will love you! **_

With that Susan sat back looking at the paper clutched in her hands. It should not be possible, not at all.

But that didn't matter to Susan.

Later that afternoon when Patrick came home hand in hand with Thomas, Susan swept them up into a huge hug.

Far away three people watched a great Lion standing behind them as they smiled at the joy in their sister's heart…

"She was making herself ill with those letters."

"Yeah, but we would have done the same thing, don't you think?"

"I guess, but we would not have as hard a time as her, we never forgot."

"Dear ones, come away now, Queen Susan has come back…"

"We always knew she was not totally gone."

"Oh course we knew that, I knew that day I saw her do her hair like she had for the coronation."

"It was those little things that kept her going I think."

"She will come soon right?"

"Dearest, haven't I told you even hear we cannot know what Will happen?"

"I hope she keeps writing the letters all the same though…"

"I am sure she will, it is Susan, and she will never forget to leave her mark behind…"

Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

**So just something I thought I would right one rainy day… hope you liked it! Let me know and REVIEW! **


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